adozenhearts

2010-03-21T18:35:00.000+08:00

relocated. ;D

www.createdinyourimage.wordpress.com

2010-03-01T21:06:00.002+08:00

bridget says YAY!

a lot of stuffs had happened these few weeks, so much so that i'm kinda lazy to give an account of everything.
but one thing for sure, God had been really good and yeah, will make a point to pen down my daily blessings soon!

as for now, there's so much i wanna venture in doing for North and Amazon.
a lot of upgradng of skills i wanna do too.
am praying for God's intervention!

will say toodles for now~!
more update sooon!

2010-02-24T12:16:00.004+08:00

Michael Jackson - Man In The Mi.. download at emp3

"Man In The Mirror"

I'm Gonna Make A Change,
For Once In My Life
It's Gonna Feel Real Good,
Gonna Make A Difference
Gonna Make It Right . . .

As I, Turn Up The Collar On My
Favourite Winter Coat
This Wind Is Blowin' My Mind
I See The Kids In The Street,
With Not Enough To Eat
Who Am I, To Be Blind?
Pretending Not To See
Their Needs
A Summer's Disregard,
A Broken Bottle Top
And A One Man's Soul
They Follow Each Other On
The Wind Ya' Know
'Cause They Got Nowhere To Go
That's Why I Want You To Know

Chorus:
I'm Starting With The Man In
The Mirror
I'm Asking Him To Change
His Ways
And No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
(If You Wanna Make The
World A Better Place)
Take A Look At Yourself, And
Then Make A Change
(Take A Look At Yourself, And
Then Make A Change)
(Na Na Na, Na Na Na, Na Na,
Na Nah)

I've Been A Victim Of A Selfish
Kind Of Love
It's Time That I Realize
That There Are Some With No
Home, Not A Nickel To Loan
Could It Be Really Me,
Pretending That They're Not
Alone?

A Willow Deeply Scarred,
Somebody's Broken Heart
And A Washed-Out Dream
(Washed-Out Dream)
They Follow The Pattern Of
The Wind, Ya' See
Cause They Got No Place
To Be
That's Why I'm Starting With
Me
(Starting With Me!)

Chorus

------------------------------------------------

Awesome song! ;D

2010-02-17T21:01:00.002+08:00

alrights! just these 2 weeks to get by and i'd be officially out of poly!
time flies like whoosooooooooooooooosh~~~~!!
scary leh.

ANYHOWS! i have good news to share!
i'd be part of the danz people recital team! woohoo!
now i'm just really praying that God will not let recital clash with GC.
or else i'll just cry until the cows come home.

God, pleasee!!!

2010-02-02T19:03:00.002+08:00

when i'm done with all these assignments and what nots, i want to properly go for a swim!

You make me wanna shout, Hallelujah, Thank You Jesus.

2010-02-01T19:31:00.001+08:00

another full day in school doing project have officialy driven me bonkers.

i'm flat out.

2010-01-31T12:13:00.001+08:00

i'm in school on a sunday afternoon.

T-T

2010-01-29T23:44:00.001+08:00

i made my very first booking of air tickets online today! woohoo! ;D

2010-01-25T12:10:00.003+08:00

last night, i took my sister's I-Phone and started playing.
and as i was getting too absorbed in the game till the world around starts to blur and my eyes got weary, i looked up and nearly whizzed out.
thank God for God for giving the warning, otherwise i'd be dead by now.

i then went to the room and started to have some time with God.
He made me reflect on my day yesterday, the day before, and the day before yesterday's yesterday.
He kinda made me ponder about the thoughts i've been entertaining in my head, and the attempts to escape from the actual important things i needed to think about.
(well, it's a whole load of them and the sight of it might make your stomach flip a thousand times. ughhhh, i know you get what i mean.)
maybe it's just like how Dennis puts it, 'maybe i am a chicken, and it's time to face it.'

i recalled on the sermon made some time ago, regarding planning and praying.
and evaluate on the progress i made since then till now. hmmm, minute?
gahhh, the effects of unfaithfulness is pricking me!
during ULM, Shirls taught about the qualities of being a disciple and a disciple maker, of which one of them is covered during church combined service.

'A true disciple, is disciplined.'
it's like one tight slap on my face. oh man.

and then another.
'You can teach what you learn, but you can only produce who you are.'
(something along that line.)
sheesh, another tight slap.

i was reminded too about the Intentionality needed in my intentions.
there was also the ringing thought about humility and teachability.

just within one night, God flooded me with all of these qualities i still rust at.
confidence level? pooped.
courage? pooped.

then again, i thought on further, that hey, i asked God to use me more, didn't I?
i was reminded of Shirls' and Dennis' teachability in opening their hearts for corrections, and winding down the screen of defence.
and so last night, i made a prayer to God to soften my hardening heart, to continue sowing on my soil, to be patient with me, to weed out the things that are hindering me.
i really pray that i won't dish out excuses and reasonings when God and people are patient enough with me to tell me my blindspots and where i've failed in.
i want to say, 'Yes, tell me more, help me grow.
and last night, i sat by the Lord to listen.

it was a timely reminder from God, because through that, God fed me a whole spoonful of awesome stuff called discipline and self-control.
got me down to face the things i need to face. and zoom off for more growth.

God help me to be very, very senstive to you.
and help me to be obedient to Your calling.
Give me courage enough that it drives out fear and timidity.
help me to do everything that is pleasing to your eyes.

2010-01-22T15:14:00.003+08:00

am currently enjoying the aftermath muscle aches of intensive dance.
i think i'm embarassing myself by saying one 1-hour session of dance is intensive.
but hey! this week dance class was different!
i really danced my heart out, and i'm reaping the sore at every inch of my muscles.
so that means i did my best okay! (hopefully it doesn't mean i'm dancing the wrong way!)

2 presentations down! HALLELUJAH!
i feel a deep sense of achievement and satisfaction!
and God had been with me during these 2 weeks of school!
i'm physically tired but my soul's refreshed everyday to brave the new storm of each day!
so praise God a million!

am really looking forward to the end of today!
wanna have some time for slightly more intense praying tonight.

on a side note, i'm feeling more and more comfortable with my project mates!
again, it is by the grace of God!
Catherine, Charmaine, Peixian, Yuxue, Ziyu!
thank God for you girls!

my God is an awesome God!

2010-01-20T00:11:00.002+08:00

i'm left with only about a month and a half before i officially graduate from polytechnic.
will be chionging projects and final exams during this period.

but honestly, i aint so bothered about tt.

people, jiayou eh!
Amazon have been embarking on this journey of intensive QT, and me myself have recently discovered even more treasures in the bible.
and many times i'm blown away by the truths of God. =)

i know, this is a disorganised post.
let me settle down my thoughts before i make a proper post ya.
till then, please continue to take personal responsibility of your own spiritual life! gambate!

2010-01-15T13:18:00.002+08:00

If all the raindrops were lemon drops and gumdrops,
oh what a rain it would be.

Standing outside with my mouth opened wide,
AH AH AH-AH, AH AH-AH, AH AH-AH!

i wanna be a kid again. ;D

2010-01-01T13:37:00.004+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

2009 ended on a crazy note celebrating for David's birthday which happened to fall on the last day of the year!
picture are all up on Facebook!

i didn't have a blast of a time counting down (i actually went on zonky mode when i've reached home last night), but i heart felt so warm in the heart having a wild of a time last year, and feeling blessed and excited for 2010!

God has opened many doors for me in 2009.
giving me the opportunity to lead, to guide, to explore.
one of the highlight was definitely moving from Central to North.
can't believe 8 months just passed in a blink of the eye!
and through this time in North, many transitions took place, many mistakes made, many lessons learnt, and i won't say i've reached 'Great!', but i know i'm a better person!

God have also used last year to uncover many of my struggles and imperfections, blessing me with situations to sharpen my character and mold my soul. thank you Lord!

i'm glad too that my Lifegroup have made many steps closer to one another in the last month of the year. i truly love every session we open up our hearts to let each other hear about what lies deep within us. and that also explains why i loved yesterday, because this close family actually spent a whole day together, driving around, laughing like mad, caring, talking, and what have you! now which LG does that these days. hohoho.

many thanks to Sharlene too, my dear shepherd, for tolerating my millions of whinings and vulnerabilities. God knows how many times you had to reassure me through this 8 months! thanks for always trying to be there. 2010, i'd support you even more! love you darling!

many apologies to the people under my care! it had been a busy year, and i didn't get to spend the most time with you girls. thank you for all of your grace and love. i've understood also the importance of a covenanted community, that from day 1 when i promised God to give my life to serve you girls, i meant it with my heart, and that means my heart must and will be poured out on you girls. more to come in 2010. this, i promise.

God had been so faithful and gracious in my family as well! May 2009, my mummy came to know Jesus! and since then, she's been growing slowly, but steadily, even bringing the blessings of God to the rest of the family, and to her workplace as well! praise God!

and thank God for Yunian, for seeing me through my peaks and troughs. it's been a tough year, but you never fail to support and love me. i think we didn't manage to be as close as the previous year, but hey, i'll work hard to support you even more this year alright?! jiayou!

to friends that come and go, thanks for playing a part in my life. there might be tears, but there was joy too, so really, thank God for you. thank God for those who's been praying and supporting me from afar too, and for not forgetting me, for initiating small little catch-ups when i was less busy. thank you. ;)

thank God for yuxue and charmaine, for being dear friends in school. i think i'd switched off school life if not for you girls. you rock! ;D

that's pretty much all i guess. God's been faithful. very, very faithful. ;D

and on to 2010! the year of Intentional Discipleship.
i'm actually superbly excited for this year!

some things i want to work on in the year of ID!
+ give my bestest to contribute in Church Building Fund!
+ work very hard for the last 2 semesters in Polytechnic
+ love and serve my family so that Jie and Jie-fu can get to know Christ in 2010!
+ envelope Parents and Auntie with my love and prayers
+ serve Amazon with all my heart, with God's strength and God's heart, fufilling GC and Proverbs 31:29.
+ be more pastoral!
+ be more prayerful!
+ get closer to and build up the 3 darlings, Celine, Joan and Yongqing to be powerful and noble women of God!
+ be bold in getting the Lifegroup - Labbit Hoe, Keato twin, and Sharlinglong - close and very, very close. the to die for kinda close. ;D
+ go on missions!
+ get my savings account to a permanent, and untouchable $2000.
+ to improve in dance enough to choreograph an item myself. hoho. this seems so hard~~!
(so far it's like that la. i need to go do my assignment, so i'll add on to it if i can rmb k!)

things i REFUSE to bring to 2010!
- lack of discipline!
- lack of systematic planning!
- lousy time management skills.
- self-centred heart.
- laziness!

i'm so fired up to run this 2010!
i even got myself a new haircut for the new year! hahahaha!

keep me in prayers alright! and have a blessed and God-conscious 2010!

2009-12-31T02:57:00.001+08:00

I'VE FINALLY CHOPPED MY HAIR SHORT!
after so many years. hahaha.

2009-12-27T22:53:00.000+08:00

^ i like! ;D

2009-12-21T14:14:00.002+08:00

i loved how we walked the streets i never knew existed behind Orchard Central.
i loved how we ventured talking about deeper things that matters in our hearts.
i loved how we explored each other's life and shared our struggles.
i loved the trust we are slowly building for each other.

thank you LG! more such meals and hang outs to come. ;D

2009-12-21T13:11:00.002+08:00

i don't want Amazon to just say that they love their LG.
i don't want Amazon to just say they they love their shepherds.
i don't want Amazon to just say that they love their leader.

i want Amazon to say that they LOVE THIS FAMILY OF GOD.

2009-12-09T13:13:00.001+08:00

praise God for seeing me through my test yesterday! ;D
praise God for the very needed break i have today! ;D

2009-12-04T15:21:00.002+08:00

alrights! i have put my deadlines under an icon 'Vista.', to avoid confusion.
some of you actually tot i stopped posting! but i didn't! scroll down scroll down!
hahaha. okay, i'm stil sick. hallelujah praise the Lord.

and HEY! today's a friday! which means tmr's a SATURDAY! woohoo!

2009-12-02T22:56:00.002+08:00

i had been praying these days to be super sensitive to God.
i told Him that i want to hear Him whenever my spirit's too low to make rational decisions.
i want to heed His advices and directions.
i want to be able to recognise His voice and do everything that is good and pleasing in His eyes.

i fell sick last night. had a fever along with sore throat.
and the moment i reached home, i told myself, 'i don't wanna go school tmr, don't let me be healed please.'
this morning i woke up, all alive and kicking.
even more energetic than any other day.
i could have just feigned my sickness, since i had a slight block in the nose.
i could drop by the polyclinic, get an MC, and just skip school for the day.
in the midst of my laziness, still snuggling in bed, Jesus spoke loud and clear.

'13"You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men.
14"You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. 15Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. 16In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven. - Matthew 5:13-16

Bridget, I know clearly what you are thinking. You must be thinking, 'aiya, nobody knows what. what's more i really am a little bit sick, so not lying ma'. Am i not the one you are living for? Am I not the audience of One?

23Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men - Colossians 3:23

you are doing all things good FOR THE LORD and not for men to see. get up and go to school.'

manz, i really concede defeat.
it wasn't just a muffled voice i imagined on my own.
it was LOUD and CLEAR and obviously the voice of Jesus.
i admit i was still a bit unwilling, but i was so fearful of this big God, i dare not disobey.
so i got up on my feet and got prepared for school.

i started my laptop the moment i reached class, and the first thing i wanted to do was to log on to Facebook.
then this voice pricked me again.

'Are you sure you want to do that with ME watching you?'

piangz, i don't even dare to click the Internet icon siol.
i knew Jesus was watching, and i know He wants me to pay attention.
so again (this time immediately), i obeyed and listened attentively.

the voice of God is so WOW. *opens mouth wide wide*
it set my spirit trembling, yet i had such great comfort in me that God was really guiding me.
it felt so great that God was just by my side, seeing me through my day.
i was in such great awe of they Big Daddy!

Lord i feel like dancing.
it's foolishness i know.
but when the world has seen the light,
they will dance with joy,
like we're dancing now!

2009-11-25T02:51:00.002+08:00

i can't really stand how ppl are so good at lying.
it's worst when all emotions are out, and this is like the umpteen times i've given my trust.
seems like it's your hobby to toy with my feelings eh.
scram you liar. you gotta beg me the next time for my trust, for you don't deserve it anymore.

hey yo! CHINESE PRAYER MEET TODAY ROCKED MY SOCKS!

2009-11-21T02:17:00.002+08:00

bridget lin is beat.
bridget lin prays for spiritual intervention.
bridget lin prays tt ppl wont be selfish.
bridget lin prays tt ppl dont just wanna have fun, but have a heart that yearns to serve God too.
bridget lin yearns for empowerment for her leaders.
bridget lin yearns for God to take charge and bless His miracles.
bridget lin prays that God is number one in everybody's life.
bridget lin wants people to stay true and through this journey with God with her.
bridget lin wants a hug.
bridget lin needs God's mercy and grace.
bridget lin needs strength.
bridget lin needs discipline.
bridget lin.
bridget lin.
bridget lin.

GOD I NEED YOU.

2009-11-15T16:26:00.006+08:00

to be completed today!

~~1. TRMK, RMTR, STMO Tutorials~~
~~2. PT Individual Research Proposal~~
~~3. Business Comm. Job Interview Preparation~~
4. EPM grp report
~~5. PT Email Research~~
~~6. Farewell speech. HAHA!~~
~~7. Pass down week plan~~
8. ABC planning
9. birthday cards (optional) -> bought materials! ;D

so much work. T-T

2009-11-06T17:40:00.002+08:00

to my dear sheep, Kejing.

tests in life will never end, and everyday we will meet with things that never ever go our way.
we may question God why certain things turn out so far from the ideal, and even ask God, 'God, don't you love me anymore? why are you making things so difficult for me?'
but in christianity, we don't only receive salvation, but a deal with God to go through life transformation. and to have that, we gotta go through changes, however much gruelling and torturing and uncomfortable it might be. yet amidst all these, we are promised an eternal partnership with our powerful, and almighty God, that as long as our hope and trust is in Him, as long as we follow His good and perfect will even if it takes our very last breath, He will rescue and deliver us. for no temptation or trials given to us is ever beyond what we can bear. [1 Corinthians 10:13] so, no! don't give up! don't even let that intention get into your head!

instead! learn how to give thanks and have joy in ALL circumstances! Paul was able to sing and worhsip God even in jail, and mind you, he wasn't all safe and sound! he was inflicted with open raw wounds from all the floggings in persecution, humiliated, cold, tattered and torn! yet He could keep his heart still before God and enjoy God's restoration. you too, sheep, you can be restored by God. focus your eyes on the eternal God, and not the current adversities.

2 Corinthians 4:16-18 (New International Version)
16Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

sheep, God 真的很看得起你，才会给那么多考验，因为祂知道你一定做得到，所以你一定要坚持！一次的失败不代表永远的失败，你不能放弃哦！加油！

May the Lord bless you abundantly and cover you fully in His protection and embrace. =)

2009-11-06T15:47:00.003+08:00

i suddenly felt the urge to blog. ;)

i'm happy cos i've finally reached the last day of the week, and tmr there's dance and service, and fellowship and CLM! woohoo!
then over at sunday, there'll be ULM. then i will stay around SMU to complete all my assignments and planning. ROAR. I WANT TO BE DISCIPLINED!

enjoyed fellowship yesterday with my crazy cow CG!
and i finaly got to run 4km after such a long long time!
sense of accomplishment yo!

key learnings from yesterday!
* spirit of righteousness - standing up for what is right and biblical wherever i am, in whatever situations, however dire it may be.
* spirit of serving and being pastoral - putting others' interest before yourself, and meeting their needs rather than your own pleasures and desires. I DON'T ALWAYS HAVE TO WIN.
* spirit of being above reproach in everything i do - blameless before God and others with my life as a living example.
* spirit of being a FULL-TIME (strictly not part-time) christian who's a salt and light to the community - being disciplined and a role model in all aspects of my life; family, school, church, even when i'm on my own, striving for excellence in all. i need to then be prepared for not only church teachings, but school lessons as well, be ready to grow and learn, and to receive from God.
* spirit of evangelism - outreaching to the people around me to know the love of Christ through my life. let my lifesong sing to all.

there's actually more la. but i'll be back again.
a note to all: God's eyes is always on us, we gotta keep watch of our lives and readily circumcise our hearts when we find ourselves going the wrong way. HE sees EVERTYHING we do; don't ever try to smoke your way through manzxzx.

2009-11-04T23:50:00.002+08:00

Make your own animation

YAY!

bridget is a happy girl today!
because she got to visit CG!
and was in the company of the awesome cchy monsters!
and got to see people she havent seen in ages!
and MOST IMPORTANTLY, GET TO WORSHIP THE LORD HER MIGHTY GOD!

WHOPPEEEEEEEEEE~~~!!!

and btw, was on the phone with Mr. Guigui!
mini, but really appreciated catch up!
THANK YOU!

shepherding with my darling sheepy YQYQYQYQYQYQ tmr!!!!!!!

COLOR BUDDAYE CHARMAINE!
do you see this? ;D
I'm battering my eyelids at you. MUAH MUAH.

i am a HAPPY GIRL!

2009-11-03T21:58:00.003+08:00

decided to post some random pics!

featuring latte!

^ what a funny face horh! XD

and the other day i was with huanwen at spotlight before halloween.
so we were trying on ugly masks!

^ tt's huanwen!

Make your own animation
^hoho! unglam sheepy aw an qi!
sorry that it's so blur! she keeps moving! HAHAHA!

2009-10-30T12:23:00.002+08:00

have i told anybody that i've started school already? T.T
i'm so tired. and it's only the second week. BOOO.

i miss my monsters in yishun laaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
where are you guys!!!!!?!?!?

anyhows, many thanks to Sharlene, Anqi, Yuwen and Nicholas for travelling down to my school area to meet me.
VERY VERY VERY APPRECIATED.
cos i really cannot travel now, plus i need to be home early. sorry uh guys.

anyhows, i manage to go sing K with Winnie on wednesday! SHUANG! ;D

thank God it's Friday, then i'll get to take a mini mini break from all the nonsense and faster recuperate and plan my following weeks properly.
I HAVE LIKE MILLIONS OF DEADLINES!

pray for meeeeeeeeeeeeeee~~~~~~~~!!!

2009-10-21T23:58:00.003+08:00

PIANG EHHHHH!
THE WEATHER IS SUPER HOT LIKE DUNNO WHAT CAN!

i was in the train today, machiam getting cooked la!
the air is so stale and the sun just scorched down my neck.
the whole day is just STICKY AND UGHHHHHH!!!!!

okay, enough of complains.

please call me hardworking okay, i'm going to do my tutorial.
sounds so sad to have myself doing homework.
my monstrous kids are having their hols! *cries*

BRIDGET WANTS TO WORK ULTRA ULTRA HARDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!

2009-10-20T10:49:00.002+08:00

i have finally started school again!
and i'm trying to bring with me a very positive and teachable spirit as i approach the school gates.
the first day had been fine yesterday!
am really hoping that i'll be fully attentive for the 4 hours of lecture today!

i have a tingling excitement churning in my tummy.
amidst the upcoming tide of stresses and expectations coming from school, i still am very hopeful for a fruitful semester accompanied in partnership with God and His people.

with Christ in the vessel, you can smile at the storm!

2009-10-15T02:03:00.003+08:00

YAYYYYY! unit outing was SHIOK AHHHH!
will try to upload pics soon. hehe.

2009-10-15T01:24:00.000+08:00

open the eyes of my heart Lord,
open the eyes of my heart.
i want to see you.

i really wonder what's up God's sleeves.
it seems as though so much are crumbling down.
i'm not exactly exhausted and overwhelmed.
i just need a bit more time to settle things one by one.
i have no idea why God chose this time, of all time, to throw circumstances at me.
it's like i'm approaching the last week of my hols and entering the school term in a few days time.
perhaps it's God's way of ringing tt fat alarm clock that it's time to really focus my eyes on the Lord.
perhaps it's also a time when God reminds me that we are to switch roles, He'll take centre stage now.

i have no clue how i ran the past week without holding the Father's hand.
there are times i look back at God and say, 'God, i know you're there', but still continue on in my journey of uncertainties without my Daddy who's holding on to the roadmap.
i feel the utmost guilt creep in, and on top of that, a whole load of helplessness and disappointment in myself.

i really do know that God is in control. i claim it and i really claim it by full faith.
i just aint that confident of myself.
i can't seem to stride out in full force. and my ill-discipline is really eating into me.
the ugly side of me says, 'RUN AWAY! go as far as you can! go on an escapism!'
but all these running away's incurring my spiritual muscle fatique.
it does me zero help.
i need rest by the Father's side.

God, please, change me, mold me, search my heart, and know my anxious thoughts, make me walk according to Your ways.
i am so weak God. i am a nobody. and i have no strength nor ability to run this life alone.
so Lord, i really ask of you, take control of my life! help me to be the kind of person you created me to be. help me to not just know of Your power, but depend on Your power.
i need, and desperately need your intervention. please Lord, will you move and stir in my heart?
and God, i know, that you are my Rock, and my refuge, my deliverer, and my provider.
i trust in You.

2009-10-14T00:49:00.001+08:00

not being able to be continually engaged with God will reap consequences.

i feel so ill-prepared. =(

2009-10-08T22:27:00.001+08:00

CG was a blast today! hohoho.
it was much better than the previous week, and my team of Change Agents were awesome moresome! woohoo! kudos to you guys!

indeed when we choose to praise God and take heart in all situations, God will honor us.
i serve a great and mighty God.
HALLELUJAH! ;D

2009-10-04T19:55:00.002+08:00

i hereby declare, that i am a night person.
i only settle down at night, and able to study at night.

maybe that's only for the time being la.
cos i get insomnia these days.
i used to be able to sleep at the second i plonk on my bed.
now i need to toss and turn even though it might be 3am in the morning.
oh buggers.

anyhows!
don't disturb me at night okay.
and i shouldn't be online at night either.
because that means i am distracted and i have other better and more important things i need to do but have yet done.
so shoo me away if you see me online.

furthermore, i love the smell at night.
especially during weekends.
cos there'll be residents bbq-ing downstairs.
hohoho i feel like i'm on a holiday.

my brain is congested with loads of stuffs.
and this is such a disorganised post.

now tt i've gobbled a plate of seafood pasta minus the seafood (-.-) i'm all ready to pen down all that's required for the week.
and hopefully i'd be on task and efficient, then i can spend some time worshipping God too.
YAY! tt shall be my motivation!

AIM FOR THE WEEK:
- practice dance
- spend time with my parents
- visit the gramps
- grow in faithfulness!

2009-10-02T00:06:00.004+08:00

it's like totally depleting my patience.
i'm giving my heart and soul on energy-drainers that sucks my blood dry.
and it's especially annoying when these nonsense don't give a chicken feather about things and continue their crap course to displeasing God.
i could almost pick up a chair and throw it across the room.

Lord help me, please.
my heart is so heavy.

2009-09-28T02:26:00.003+08:00

i've had this really emo feeling since sunset this evening.
it's that void that hit me so hard.
that very familiar, krrr-krrrrr sound.
the scraping of the depths of an empty well.
gah, i haven't spoke to God the whole day. :(

and now i feel shivers stroking my heart.
seems like something ominous is about to happen.
i think i smell the rain coming too.

i'm up cos i'm afraid i won't wake up on time to do the necessary in the morning.
or rather i'm afraid i'm not given the chance to due to the unending need to be at the parents beck and call.
it's hard to do life these days.

and school is starting in exactly a month time.
i have a brief picture of how i want this month to turn out, but i never seem to be able to pen them down and point a specific direction.

yet in the midst of this deafening silent hustle and mountain heap of uncertainties, i sense strongly, a calm and steady stirring.
the pace is picking up.
the hands of the Father is warming up my soul.
He didn't say anything. well, He didn't need to.
i know it's in His hands. :)

thank You Lord, You always make a way.
You always pick me up.
You always show me how to do things a better way.
You always give me another chance to do things again.
thank You for the confidence and belief you had in me.
i will run it with You.

dear Daddy in Heaven, 抱抱~！

2009-09-25T13:39:00.002+08:00

i think people tend to get hard to relate with when i grow older.
perhaps it's due to me discovering things i want and need and thus might appear disagreeable to what people expect of me.

ROAR.

i'm having a hard time.

2009-09-17T23:55:00.002+08:00

i had a GREAT and AWESOME DAY TODAY!

i got to meet sharlene today! woohoo! praise the Lord!
i love meeting sharlene, albeit not being able to just talk and talk and talk and talk the day away.
I LOVE YOU SHEPHERD. ;D

met up with my dear sheepy huanwen.
gah, i miss having her around. she's a crazy pig!

and then there was the first CG we had with the cchy girls and guys combined!
man, they are so noisy, i still hear the din they are making ringing in my ears!
but i enjoyed all of their presence!

i managed to have a good chat with some of the brothers later in BK.
and i thank God for their willingness to listen and to be honest about themselves.
and God is just so gracious and so close to my heart, i really feel Him bringing me through every single phase.

it's times when i feel so inadequate that God steps in to fill in my handicaps.
and i know it's only when i'm weak, then i'm strong, IN THE LORD.
there are many times i recklessly just zoom off wherever i deem fit, and i realise i crash so oftenly because God don't want me to commit an even greater mistake in the future.
at the very end of the day, God always include me in His mighty plan, to humble me down, to mold and grow me stronger.

i love the people God placed in my life.
and am very thankful of the initiatives friends have been taking to maintain relationships.
as i've said, God is an awesome God.
it's times again, when i think i've lost it all leaving things to God to handle, that God always open new doors.
just within the last 2 weeks, God have been ever so kind to arrange for friends to catch up with me.
God, you really love me so much. thank you thank you thank you!

and as i'm kinda forced by my parents to make deicisons for my coming transition upon graduation, i really have a hard time trying to be salt and light in giving the right responses.
but You are so merciful, and so loving and you made a way in unfolding opportunities for me to explore.
thank You Lord, i will be dilligent to follow through.

and there is the great belief you have in me Lord, though i fail ten millions times, that made me feel so valuable in your eyes.
thank you for the empowerment and widening of perspectives through ULC.
i am very honored to be part of building Your kingdom!

thank you for your great patience and anointing that i feel so undeserving to receive.
thank you for the millions of answered prayers. ;D

and if i have found favor in your eyes Lord, move in the Unit and stir up a spirit within the hearts of the people to stand up and stand right for your kingdom!
may people find so much burden in living a purposeful life to live a circumcised life themselves!
and may they live their lives so pure and blameless that people takes after them.
may their lips speak of your good news, and help lead people in the way of righteousness.
may people move away from cowardice to courage. may apathy turn into outright compassion! may the people respond to your heartbeat to turn them into actions. grace and mercy be upon them, move Lord!

thank you my dear and awesome Daddy, indeed you never ever fail. i love you Lord, in Jesus' name, AMEN!

2009-09-10T08:36:00.002+08:00

i am up much earlier today than normal.

am up to find chords for unit worship.
and am up to read a super long mail from my dear sheep.
and am up feeling lethargic, but i can't get back to sleep. =(

anyhows, just something random to share.

i realise how things all turn mundane when we lose the focus of our run.
services will just be services, CGs just CGs, and QTs just QTs when we exclude God out of the picture.
and it's the time of the year, when all subtly dries up, that we tend to miss out on the true meaning of why we're doing what we're doing.

but we need to know that God is the one who really matters.
that even as all else fails and pales, the size of God never change, the depth of His love never change, the grace He poured out on all never change!
even if the day sucked so bad, we can still rejoice for the personal time we can have with him.
our security needs to be placed in Him and Him alone, so that we'll never ever lose our way.

2009-09-06T13:24:00.000+08:00

time of refreshing, here in your presence..

the week's been hectic with people issues.
but filled with much learning and understanding as well.

bridget needs to get intentional!

2009-09-03T02:26:00.000+08:00

woohooo! i haven't blogged in ages! and blogger is still as screwed as ever!

anyhows! i had a fun time on msn with AW ANQI! I LOVE YOU SHEEP. muah muah.

i need more strength God to go through the coming tide. watch over me Lord. ;)

2009-08-22T00:15:00.002+08:00

i've learnt much just this one week!

went for a hair cut and dye on monday, and i'm happy cos my hair don't feel that heavy and hard to deal with now!
saw my awesome sheep anqi.

tuesday was an awesome day with God cos i had my spiritual retreat.
and i gym-ed.
and i went for my 2nd dance session! rocks my socks!

had GC (Global Conference) on wed and thurs, of which i had a personal time with God to slow down and re-align my priorities and focus.
God was really evident in the midst of the people!

visited Monsters 2 for CG on thurs as well!
am really praying for God to touch every single heart in the group!

Friday i met my shepherd (YAY!) and met another 2 fat sheep. woohoo!

gah. i am sick and tired of things.
i find myself a nag to myself even, for the countless time i need to repeat myself and make my stand.
i hate it that ONCE is never enough to drill sense into brains.
and i can't get why people are choosing to turn away from God and refuse to repent with their whole heart.
i learnt one thing on Tuesday's date with God.

Disloyalty to God is committing spiritual adultery.

i consider half-heartedness as disloyalty, which equates to spiritual adultery.
i consider speaking empty words and making hollow promises as disloyalty, which equates to spiritual adultery.

gah.
repent! and consecrate yourself before the Lord!

2009-08-15T23:31:00.000+08:00

everything is hitting me so bad, i'm really getting very bad gastric pangs. =(

2009-08-13T13:32:00.003+08:00

woohoo!!! i feel happy today!

RANDOM:
#1 i'm starting to get used to my unglam pics!
#2 i'm SO SUPER GLAD i joined classes yesterday, i haven't really dance properly for the longest time! and i think i really gave my best for the class cos my WHOLE BODY'S ACHING like mad crap.

i think i moved muscles in my body i never ever knew could move. HAHA.i literally pop-ed and bounced SO HARD my back and calf are so uber sore now. and i cracked both my shoulders just a while ago. my bones are so creaky! and i never perspired that much for dance for the loooooongest time! so excited for the next dance class! the passion's firing up, it's shooting like a rocket! whooooo~~!!

#3 i love me sheep.
#4 i learnt how to let go of things not mine and look up to God regularly instead of Man
#5 i realise the importance of the Word.
#6 God's nobody to trifle with. if you step over His head too much, and think you can keep taking advantage of His love and grace, don't scream when He's wrath is over you. you.. never.. EVER.. wannna trifle with this big God.
#7 i enjoy days started out with God!
#8 my body's really really aching.
#9 i'm still determined to get rid of my fats! for health purposes, i'm gonna abstain from snacks for 2 months! and will only break the fast when there's any special occasion. hehe. i gotta love myself man. you wont understand if you dunno how i always 'mistreat' myself.
#10 i wanna bake cookies!
#11 i'm left with ONE MORE DAY OF WORK! praise the Lord!
#12 I GOT MY LONG-AWAITED MOOLAH! yay!!!
#13 i wanna go work at Bakerzin!
#14 i'm excited for the stirring revival in the group. monstrous ladies and gentlemen, hold on tight! the storms coming, but the rainbow's emerging too! hold on tight to God!!!
#15 I CAN FINALLY GO TO CHURCH EARLY ON SATURDAY AND RESUME DANCE WITH DANCE MINISTRY! WOOHOOOO!
#16 i'm excited for this saturday!
#17 i miss my crazy cow CG!!
#18 i wanna meet sharlene!!

snapping back to reality a bit, i still have my report to do which i haven't started.
and i gotta start like soon or else God will do something. AHHH. okkk, i will do i will do.

2009-08-11T12:33:00.000+08:00

我要抱抱

2009-08-11T10:49:00.001+08:00

today seems such a bad day. =/
everyone's sleepy and obviously dread work. sheesh.
i hope no phone calls comes in.
and i have zero intentions on starting my report today.
and i'm dreading some other stuffs.

oh man, Bridget, you are a stinking lazy bum.

on a side note. i have 4 looooooooooooooooong days (including today) till i officially end my attachment.
i seriously can't wait.

i'm in a state that i can zonk out any moment.
but before i do that, i think i should get spiritual and pray.
it's never too late to start off the day with Jesus!

Daddy! here i come!

2009-08-09T19:47:00.002+08:00

HAPPY NATIONAL DAY!

i feel extremely, extremely happy and contented today.
i didn't manage to complete as much mental tasks as i set aside today to do, but i feel really refilled!

i'm currently swooning to new songs on Ritchell's blog's playlist.
hahaha, thank you girl!

things done:
- gym-ed and swam this morning till about 2pm! KO-ed 200 plus calories!
- supported elder bro for his performance at Esplanade
- wrote a card
- ate Macs, and gobbled back my 200 plus or more calories! :(
- met the shepherds; set the foundation!
- decided on taking Dance class, will officially start coming wed!
- slept in on a Sunday! (feels GREAAAAAAAT!)
- i got a little tanner!! bye bye the pale me!

things not done:
- stupid report
- pack my room
- QT
- plan for Incredibles meeting
- find a part time job near yishun
- plan shepherding schedule

things to look forward to:
- end of attachment!! 5 more days!
- meeting Incredibles!
- personal retreat!
- date with sis and bro!
- cut my awful hair!

had CLs retreat last night!
i really enjoyed the time there, just you know, enjoying myself. :D
we watched the movie 'UP!', and i think it's really sweet!
go catch it!

you know, i really, really love my unit.
every single one of them are so different, yet so carefully and so uniquely made by the hands of Our Creator.
some loves to wreck my nervous system by doing nonsensical things and teasing me is like their life purpose.
some are such great supporters, you don't mind pouring out every bit of your life to see them emerge stronger every new day.
some are just so young, you'll squeal in excitement dreaming of their future that's ever so bright.
some, hmmm, still strangers to me, but definitely people i yearn to be invited into the home of their hearts for a cup of tea and just listen.
some are, hahaha, expert trouble-makers who never fail to make new white hair sprout out from my head or carve more wrinkles on my face, but are people i see the sparkle in their eyes that yearns for God to fill the void in their soul.

i so very yearn to spend time with each and everyone of you monsters individually.
would you give me the chance to?

i love you North A!

2009-08-07T10:57:00.000+08:00

i'm counting on God.
tt's such an awesome thing to do.

anyhows, i've been thinking about the depth of everyone's devotion to God.
then it daunt on me that not many are even doing proper devotions.
i really kinda wonder what people actually do in their quiet time.

'The Bible has authority over Man's traditions and rituals.'

this is so very true.
we cannot be so caught up with the doing that we forget about the being.
we cannot keep serving and forget about the one we are truly serving.
we cannot keep giving and forget to refill from the source of gifts.

all we do in church and beyond church, revolves around God.
it's not God hovering around our life, but our lives lived with God as the core.
the outer layers all crumbles if the core lacks depth.
the core cannot be an empty shell.
that's how important our devotions are.

we cannot forget what all we are doing is about.
once we lose the meaning, we lose the drive and motivation.
God is the crux. He is the essential.
not the service, not the deeds.

all things will pale and fade away. God will not.

be a Mary, not a Martha. :)

2009-08-06T10:18:00.001+08:00

it's official.

i have officially entered the FAT club.
been banished there by the family.
even my mum claim that she's fitter than me.

and yes! i am very determined to slim down okay!
i am going to start taking dance class.
remove snacks and chocs from my diet, preferably remove meat too.
decrease my meal portions.
BRISK WALK EVERYDAY. (i dont want a puffed up bod. i want a LEAN BODAYYYE)
so i'm gonna do cardio, which will BURN my fats.

BURN! BURN FATS BURN!
muahahahahahaha!

so my daily exercise will burn my fats and renew my soul.
and my dance class will tone my body.

i'm so determined to slim down this time.
and IMPROVE MY DANCE SKILLS MAN.

WATCH ME WATCH ME.

oh but all these will start AFTER i'm done with my dozens of chocs received during my birthday. HAHAHA. okay, everything will officially start next week okay.
so dont condemn me when you see me eating this week. i will cry one.
be strict on me next week onwards ya? hehe.

(i'm not gonna post a 'Before' pic, cos it's totally hideous.)hohoho.

2009-08-04T01:09:00.004+08:00

ALRIGHTS!! here's finally an update about my awesome birthday!!
shout out to ALL who wished me happy birthday, thank you! (i know my vigorous publicity have caused great distraught to you but hahaha i guess it's pretty effective. AHAHA, winnie dont kill me please!)

first up on 31 July.
i was so uber happy i laughed like mad even when a real fat rat landed on, Shar's hands.
not that i'm sadistic la, i'm just really happy to see her that day and her presence just rocket-ed me to the moon!
gave myself a treat to Green Tea Frap! woohoo!
i totally loved the night with her. THANK YOU SHARLINGLONG!

and then on 1 Aug.
my wonderful monsters blessed me! woohoo!
they made me walk a lot of circles though. i was pretty zonked out by the time i reached there. HEH!.

^ look at how i'm trying my best to be glamorous while the two conspiring monsters behind tried to assasinate me with the smashing of cake. horrible people. tsk tsk. ;D

^ i like this pic! my family of monsters. woohoo!

^ this too! loves!

^ and the people who never fail to traumatise me every day. love you guys. =)

i never got to take a pic with my girls laaaaaaaaaaa. *whinesssss*

Later on at night, yongqing came over to my place saying that she had a lot in mind to share.
it was quite weird since it was a Saturday night and well, she should be going home.
but i enjoyed her company!
who knows it all ended up as a surprise when my dear Incredibles came over to surprise me!
and haha! they really really surprised me! i ran all around the lobby screaming when i saw them. HAHA.

shout out to Incredibles!
hey! that night i really felt so so loved. because i really didn't expect you guys to 'smuggle' yourselves in, let alone prepare a whole big bag of gifts and cards and sweet chocs. what i appreciate most is the effort you guys really put into this, and the time you guys were willing to spend with me. that night i felt another step closer to each of you. thank you so so much.

OKAY NEXT! on the 2nd Aug, which is twin weikeat's birthday!
happy belated to you twin!
crazy cows went to mind's cafe! i had a super good laugh at Bang!
Hoe and Joyce are really into their Matta business. great killing people! thanks for killing me first arhhhhhh!

^ don't you just feel like stretching his grin from pasir ris to joo koon? HAHA.

^ happy birthday twin!

^ i like this pic too! look at the card Xinru made! woohoo!

THANK YOU MY CRAZY COW LOVES.
i know i was zi-highing that day by forcing all of you to take pics with me. HAHA.
i know you love me man. hoho!
we must play more! i enjoyed all of your laughters!

WOKAY! then i came to office on my actual birthdate, 3 Aug, feeling a bit groggy and listless, but my dear awesome friend, Yuxue blessed me with a mini celebration she planned!
i felt so loved, really!
because firstly she mentioned before that she don't intentionally plan birthday surprises for people, and secondly, she dont usually write cards cos she's not used to expressing herself through words that much.
but for me, she did it all! she planned the surprise, she hand-made me a card and she wrote it with great sincerity of her heart!
she gave me my new office love, Xue'er, which is a pillow i can hug through my day. HAHA.

i thank God for such an angel like you, thank you Yuxue. ;D

^ the cake i think they attempted to stuff into the letter box. haha!

^nachos to macho. hoho!

^ tt's Xue-er, tt big pretty Daisy Duck. hehe.

^ my favourite friend. muah!

^ love love!

and then in the afternoon, lovely Jiali came over to my workplace!
oh my tian, can melt la.
she came all the way to pass me a brownie (taste so good!), a letter, a stack of choc biscuits, and a meal treat!
she fulfilled everything! time, gifts, word, service and touch (hug! hehe).
thank you thank you thank you!

After work i met my dearest, Shafina!!!

thank you so much for the sharing and the trust!
keep the fire in our f/s burning! love!

it's my birthday so i couldn't give going my favourite place of milk and honey a miss right.
yishun-ed and saw my favourite ppl, then zoom back to jurong!

and then at night, the darlings, weiting, angela and joanne came over to my place. (is it really that easy to sneak in! hahaha)
thank you for travelling to dear jurong where nobody lives near to. hahaha.
and the Thomas and friends cake. (it's nice leh! hahaha)
and for the heart-felt prayer.
i miss you girls!

^ miss you, you, you!

and just when i thought the lovely day was about to end with my family, 3 gorgeous ladies dropped by my gate!
thank you Shar, Winnie and Jasmine!
for the trip down, for the Honey Red tea no Pearl + Jelly! (hahaha), and the (I LOVE IT SO MUCH) water bottle!!!!!
i so needed a water bottle can. and it's so pretty! ;D
and to shar and winnie, i know i didn't expressed my thanks very well, i was really quite tired already. heh.
but thank you so much for being there, because i treasure the both of you very very much, and i felt it was awesome to round up my special day with the both of you. =)
(thank you jasmine too! you're not forgotten! hee.)

LASTLY, my dear ones at home.
i loved the feast auntie whipped up for us! it feels like i'm a kid once more having the family party!

^ haha! i think i really look like my sis.
^ family!

all in all, i had the best birthday i spent for all the few years i had in church!
because sooooooooooo many people went the extra mile for me (whether or not i forced them to. haha!)
and i know God blessed them all.
i felt so doted on, so cared for, so loved, soooo... important.
i mean, not about insecurity or pride boost or anything.
it's not that i deserved to be treated queen.
it's just God so specially crafted this day to be all about me.
and i am really, greatly, thankful for that.

because i know God didn't need to feed all my expectations, but He just chose to, you know, love me that much extra on this birthday.
and that's enough to keep me running all year through, many year through, giving my all to God.

it's not an exchange, it's more of i know God knows how to appreciate me more than anything else.

God really really loves me. thank you Lord. thank you so so so so much.
(sorry my thoughts are so scattered, ask me about it k! i'm very willing to share about this great and awesome blessing!)

thank you everyone! i love all of you! it'd be another year i'm charged up to run even more for the Lord, hold on tight, Bridget's gonna break more grounds!

(i might post pictures of my gifts and cards. we'll see! hoho!)
ending with my favourite pic of the lot!

jiayou Bridget! go go go!

2009-08-02T01:32:00.002+08:00

thank you Monsters. :D

thank you incredibles. :D

For all You've done, I'll give my life.

2009-07-29T11:03:00.001+08:00

i seriously think that discipleship is so hard to do these days.
so is getting to know people and their hearts.

it's like every time i think i just got a step closer, it turns out the opposite.
it seems like the nearer i try to come close, the further i'm shoved away.
(a bit like how you will end up if Tanker (L4D) grabs hold of you. fheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew~~~ TAD!)

i have been loaded with LOADS of ministry information lately.
so much so i don't know how to get down to applications!
so many things to apply, so little time. GAH. smack me.

eh, but i like the challenge. :D

oh a side note. nobody date me yet. =( HAHA.
i feel like going to the ulu place for some awesome chicken wings beside Bottle Tree.
or that awesome P.S. cafe at Dempsey.
somebody date me pleaseeee.
i will cry till my pillows get soaked if nobody dates me on that day.
people who revolve around me now, you know who you are (sheeps, monsters, incredibles, crazy cows, close friends).
OI auto a bit leh.
i know i'm super ultra bu yao lian, but dont let me go through that day in sadness.
i will be a bitter freak.
i dont wanna end up going home sadly and have ppl surprising me when i'm sian to the max alrdy and in my ugly home clothes. HAHA

5 MORE DAYSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!

2009-07-26T20:50:00.004+08:00

Bridget is feeling lazyyyy.
she seems to have so much to do, but she just can't seem to settle down to do them.

Bridget wants to slack her night away and not plan anything.
but can't do so cos workplace no longer allows her to do planning during working hours.

Bridget can't wait for 21 days to be over!!!!!!!
3 more weeks to go before liberty!

annnnnnnndd...... 8 MORE DAYS TO GORGEOUS BRIDGET'S BIRTHDAY!
don't you just love her for declaring her birtday ever so often?! *grins*

Bridget thinks it's good to slow down her thoughts and pen them down cos now she feels like going for a really awesome moresome bath and start her planning!

Bridget is going to have a packed week this week because she's going for a coolio milo course on monday tuesday, and meeting all her fat sheeps on wednesday, thursday friday.
she also needs to start planning for her meeting this saturday with the beloved North A monsters. (i'm so tired of typing North A monsters, i shall type Monsters from now on, and if you see Monsters, i'm referring to North A ok? dont you just love me. YEAH. hoho)

thank you ritchell for uploading more songs! love love love!

Bridget thinks that a breezy room with great lighting, jazzy music and some tidbits can increase her effectiveness in planning! hoho.

Bridget is uber proud of Monsters for the 8 new brothers and sisters who joined us during Rendition part I! let's keep our passion growing and squeeze every ounce of energy to bring these new siblings in Christ down next week, as well as new friends to join us! GAMBATE MONSTERS! GAMBATE INCREDIBLES! =D

2009-07-26T17:34:00.001+08:00

bridget loves sundays!
bridget loves the songs on ritchell's and irina's blog.
bridget loves the after 5pm evening sun!
bridget loves North A monsters!

2009-07-24T11:37:00.002+08:00

i love the pace now. =)
i'm out of the cruising stage!
and the problems i prayed for God to bless have came!
Praise God!

every day it's just problems after problems.
hahaha i got a bit sucked last night.
but thank God for the book i'm reading now, 'Leading on Empty' by Wayne Cordeiro.
it helped me a WHOLE BIG DEAL.

and for everything, i'd sum up with this verse!
'Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest, and repent. Here i am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door. I will come in and eat with him, and he with me.' - Revelations 3:19-20.

Lord, i will be earnest in ALL your teachings and i will repent. I wil let you in, come and eat with me. =)

thank You Lord, for bringing me through everything.

2009-07-22T22:04:00.002+08:00

i wasn't in the highest of moods today.
the day started with whines and ranting to God.
and thank you Lord for being there, my head rested perfectly on your shoulders.

and thank you my dear Monsters in North A.
every single one of your presence lit up my night.

and i know i am not alone.
thank you Lord.

2009-07-19T15:35:00.002+08:00

i love the scent of the air now.
and that it's not raining, yet not too sunny.
the songs playing on the radio is man, just lifts my spirit.

i can just grab my book and read the day away.

2009-07-14T23:26:00.002+08:00

indeed, the world is filled with imperfection and minute-lasting satisfaction.
one minute you can be on clouds nine, and the other you can be in your pit.
that's what you get if you place your security in the world.

and that's what i'm getting.
fancy getting happy based on happenings.
and now in the lowest of valleys, also based on happenings.
GRRRRRRRRRRR.

but against all odds, God is still praise-worthy.
God is still unfailing.
God is still faithful.

joy is from Jesus!

2009-07-13T22:41:00.002+08:00

was meant to be looking for some old teachings in my teachings box but i ended up reading encouragement cards and birthday cards and whatever cards i've collected over the past few years in Christ. and i must give credits to these cards for seeing me through all times. they really warmed my heart a lot a lot.

i feel sad though, that some ppl are no longer around.
and hahaha, probably some of them have alrdy forgotten about me.
but well, i know God has a great and mighty plan for every single one of them.

God's been really faithful as i flashed back.
He helped me grow in different aspects wherever He put me.
and i must really really thank God for the honor, for choosing me of all people, for insisting to grow me albeit my gazillion flaws.
i am ever so thankful i'm in God's list and i know God loves and favor me a lot.
thank you Daddy, i love you very very very very much.

and yeah, i'm really very very excited this birthday.
am not particularly particular about the celebration.
it really need not be elaborate.
i just hmmm, really hope for it to be heartwarming.
like with deep sincerity of the heart.
please dont write card to me if you dont mean the words k. hahahaha.
let me be greedy for once. =p
and impntly, i dont wanna take charge on my birthday.
so all the phlegmatic ppl around me, please dont let me start ushering you guys to move or anything. i think i will just faint.

okay, enough of me being a princess.
i love God.
and i'm missing quite a few ppl.

2009-07-13T11:08:00.006+08:00

God's been really really good and that's an understatement.
He's AWESOME MORESOME, but million times more than that.
full of grace, full of love.

there's been quite a lot of stuffs going on recently but i handled it very differently this time cos in all things i knew that God was watching me and nothing could go wrong. =)
i had so much peace in my heart and though the issues were towering, it never could quite get the better of me.
and hehe, yes i've been whining la.
but i really am just whining. i'm not worried. really really!
i'm glad i went through everything with God, the outcome turned out really heartwarming!

firstly if anyone even dropped by this space, i once wrote a pretty harsh entry about how i felt deep inside me about certain issues.
and that was really one of my main heart cry for the past 2 weeks.
just thinking about it makes my heart ache like crazy.
but God really does make a way when there is no way.
when i can't do anything about it anymore and just pray and lift it up to God, He opened up doors!

hey ritchell, i see God slowly taking foot in your heart, and man, i am so encouraged by you! keep on yearning for Him and spam us questions to grow more! woohoo! i am so excited for you!

thank you nicholas, for the talk on Saturday. though short and pretty aimless (haha), you renewed the faith and trust i had in you. and yes, i wont take it back, cos i'm leaving it for your safekeeping and i pray so hard that you will emerge out as a focussed man of God who will never ever turn back. i refuse to believe that you are that vulnerable to satan and his cunning schemes, and i know with my whole heart you will not turn back for the world again. my trust, in your hands. God's love, in your heart. this race, YOU will run, all the way.=)

thank you winnie for coming down all the way to my land of milk and honey to hear me whine. HAHA. it's deeply etched in my heart. and aiyooo. thank you thank you thank you, love you very very much. =)

thank you anqi! i just thank God that i'm getting closer to you everyday and it really warms my heart. though we are always crapping la, but i'm very appreciative of the mini moments we spend together. let's keep it up k! love love!

thank you huanwen! i'm really starting to love you much more now. and i have so much to grow you in! thank you really, for having such a willing heart. i know you yearn to grow, and i pray that God will give you the discipline to break through! jiayou!

thank you yuxue! for reasons you dont know. hahaha. you've been helping me balance my perspectives on things and i've learnt a lot from you!

thank you bernard! you've been really sacrificial and passionate! and yes you are good boy, though you always disturb me. jiayou k!

i have been praying for God to expand my compassion this year and God's been really molding my heart to be in sync with him especially for the youths! it gets a bit scary sometimes cos my heart literally aches when i see the youth running their own lives in ways they deem fit yet the least beneficial. but thank God cos i now i see them in another light, another hope, and with greater future!

AND. aiyo. how many times must i say this? but i really really love North! i love this family a lot a lot a lot and i treasure the ppl in it. thank you if you are in North.

okay, on a side note, i've been put down as baptizer yesterday during water baptism! hahaha, tt's why there was a bit of a commotion on my blog cos i was a nervous wreck!
but i thank God for the opportunity, because it was a privilege to be chosen, and a greater privilege to see people making their firm decision on following God till the rest of their lives. that's what it really is about. to want to follow Him wherever He leads and fulfil the purpose of our lives. thank you God! it was really an experience!

photos photos!

^ tt's glenn!

^ tt's sichen (Faith!)

^ tt's twin weikeat (Jepheth!)

i don't have Hweeling (Danielle!) and Grace (still Grace!) 's one though, cos theirs are videos. hehe.
thanks ritchell the pics! =D
so exciting to be the one standing at the side to baptize them. woohooo!

oh and if you're a centralite or anywhere outside North, you must be dying to see how my group is like right!
a few pics below to show you my lovelies!

^ Yishun Town girls, missing yvonne, nicole and yokeleng. =)

^ ChungCheng girls plus 1 lovely new northland sister shirmain! missing yuwen, sarah, kejing, mandy. =)

i dont have a pic of the guys yet, but here's one from camp, a bit blur.

^ ChungCheng brothers, missing Sijun and Glenn and the northland new Bs. =)

oh and my favourite people like to do 'exciting' things like muah muah, so here's a sneak peek!

^ oh my gosh, sick to the max, but really funny to watch!

^ look at nicholas super satisfied face. HAHAHA.

earlier on we celebrated brandon's birthday too!

^ brandon's surname's Gui, so WE LOVE GUI!

^ =) i like this pic!

last but not least, here's a pic of the whole horde of monsters in North A from camp.
not everyone here but it's okay, we'll see more next camp! =D

^ my darlings! =D

i have more pics to post but maybe some time later la. hehe. all of them are on facebook actually. but i know some ppl lazy to click click click. tt should be about it. more next time!

2009-07-12T21:08:00.001+08:00

YAY!!

baptism went pretty well, it didnt rain!

welcome to a new life Glenn, Grace, Danielle!!

2009-07-10T11:07:00.002+08:00

oh my tian, oh my tian, OH MY TIANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN.

am i supposed to say?
OH MAN.
WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO SAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.

lalalala, merry xmas.

you will find out why on sunday.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

2009-07-09T16:51:00.002+08:00

"Cry In My Heart"
Starfield

There's a cry in my heart
For Your glory to fall
For Your presence to fill up my senses

There's a yearning again
A thirst for discipline
A hunger for things that are deeper

Could You take me beyond?
Could You carry me through?
If I open my heart?
Could I go there with You?

(For I've been here before
But I know there's still more
Oh, Lord, I need to know You)

For what do I have
If I don't have You, Jesus?
What in this life
Could mean any more?
You are my rock
You are my glory
You are the lifter
Of my head
Lifter of this head

2009-07-09T13:37:00.002+08:00

hohoho! i love Joyce Meyer's podcast!

God has blessed us with the Holy Spirit who dwells in us.
and with the Spirit comes the fruit of the spirit! (-.- duh.)

and the fruit of the Spirit is Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodnes, Gentleness, Faithfulness and Self-Control. (Galatians 5:22)

Everyone of us who have received Jesus has the spirit in us, and that means we would all possess the fruit of the Spirit.
and the fruit of the Spirit is A fruit, singular, that encompasses all of the 9 traits mentioned above.
it comes in a package!
so you can't say you have goodness but no kindness, or love but no peace.
if you have it, you have ALL NINE of them.

and so i was saying, everyone of us who are filled with the spirt has ALL NINE traits.
some of you might say, well, i've been a christian for 10 years but i don't see that i have any of them.
but it's not that you don't have them, it's that you've not developed them.

it's just like muscles.
we all have them.
it's just a matter of whether we develop them so that it can be seen.

another awesome example.
I have snapped a photo of a flower.
so I now possess a photo of a flower.
but no one would know that i have this photo or could have seen this photo unless i
DEVELOP it.
most importantly, photos have to be developed in a DARK room.

the same goes for the fruit of the spirit!
we ALL have them.
but we ALL gotta DEVELOP them.
and we gotta develop them especially at times behind the scene, when we're all alone, when we take time to sit down and reflect.

time to flex those spiritual muscles and exercise our fruity Fruit of the Spirit!

2009-07-09T10:17:00.003+08:00

just had a talk with yuxue this morning.

and i guess it's divine that we happen to be talking about family.
cos i realise how insensitive i have recently been at home.
spending very little time with the loved ones and even shown black worn out face when i'm with them.

which brings me to the point that i shouldn't be treating my home like a hotel.
and i need to start making effort again to love them and care for them.

auntie's recently been very bothered by her painful shoulders.
and mummy's been sick for more than a week with sore throat. (she looks really really burned out)
dad's been hmmm, i dunno, but i just gotta be more receptive to him.
more so with my sister.
havent been seeing much of elder brother.
and yunian's been sick for 3 days alrdy.

man, i really need to pay more attention to them.
bowling session with them sooooooooon!
and daily prayer.

change my face and my attitude!
today is the day!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

HAPPY BIRTHDAY YUWEN SHEEPYYYYYYYYYY!!!

2009-07-08T16:19:00.000+08:00

eeeeeeeeeeee..
i dont like.
i dont like.
i dont like.
i dont like.
i dont like.
i dont like.
i dont like.
i dont like.
i dont like.
i dont like.

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...........

2009-07-07T23:14:00.001+08:00

ahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!
it's that flip stomach feeling again!

SOMEBODY HELP MEEEEEEEE.

2009-07-03T09:58:00.003+08:00

HAHAHA oh man! chloe just made a public declaration on her blog that she missed me!
aaaawwwwwwwww... i missed you too!
and yeap! i'm doing verrrrryyyyyyyy well in north! hehehe.
maybe someday i'd just drag you to fellowship with us! *raises eyebrow* hehehe.
they are L4D freaks okay, and i played 2 games of L4D already! are you proud of me?! hohoho
jiayou okay! keep strong chloe! =D

talking about ex sheep,
CRYSTAL'S BIRTHDAY IS COMING.
hehehe. oh and, hua and reb! how are you guys man!
and the fat ninjas, keep getting fat/fed (spiritually) yo!

2009-07-02T10:50:00.003+08:00

i have this really really weird feeling.
the kind you might have standing alone at the edge of a cliff, taking in the view of an endless forest and sky.
standing alone.
it's not awe.

or maybe the kind you stand alone at the bus stop, waiting for nothing in particular, and let people and cars and breeze just past by.

it's a bit like everything's happening, doing their usuals, but you just stop.
and you're taking in everything.

and you are alone.

hmm i dunno how to put them in words.

it's the butterflies in the tummy feeling.
a little queasy. a little brimming of emotions that might make you.. i dunno, scream?
it's not frustration.
it's not anger.
it's more of... there's a surge of emotions, not necessary to be addressed or to draw a conclusion, but i dunno..

HAHAHA, okay i know i'm random la.
i just feel like there's a tug in my heart.

something needs to be done.

2009-07-01T10:01:00.003+08:00

whatever's happening now makes me wanna say, TMD.
whoever mum that is, i mean no harm to you. =)
i'm just frustrated by the way things are turning out.
now it seems as though end times is even nearer than i expected.
the way things screw up, the way lives go haywire, the way how priorities are messed up..
ugh.

and i feel like a useless mother hen.
i'm as good as watching my little chicks getting gobbled up by those sneaky snakes.
and i can't do anything about it.

if only, the chicks were a little wiser.
a little more obedient.
a little less curious.
a little more mature.
to stay by my side, to stay by God's side.
to venture the world in a steady pace and not dashing out so impatiently, risking their lives.

i want to protect all of you.
but you got to allow me to do that.
i can't chase all 30 of you if all of you run in all different direction.
worse still, I can't reach you if you decide to stay out of my reach.

and last night, i really felt so helpless.
i did all i humanly can, and i sincerely ask for You Lord, to intervene.
to protect the hearts of these dear chicks.
because i really cannot do anything.
but You are mighty to save.
You have conquered the grave!
You must step in and stop satan from snooping around.
You must stop him from pouncing on Your children!
please, please, PLEASE Lord, do something.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
on a random note, here's a shout out to..

Joanne!
i'm excited for your journey with Tingting!
and i am even more excited to hear your brand new stories written tgt with God!
keep going and continue to have a joyful heart, may abundant blessings be upon you!
jiayou for stinky fyp!

Yuxue!
i dont even know if you will read this, but i really really enjoy your presence and you're deeply appreciated!
love love!

Charmaine!
how are you doing girl? i have asked God to give you mighty spiritual muscles to go through the troughs, you'll be lifted up really soon. keep having faith and trust God! muah!

Yueann!
thanks for always tempting me with food, though i'm fat beyond hope. =)

Jiali!
i miss dance like crazy. and i'm so rusty. and i have LOADS to tell you since forever. gahhhh, date me please!

Daniel!
august is coming (means my birthday is coming!), and tt means you're coming back! ahhhhhh, faster come back!! i dunno why i want you to come back quickly, but yes, just come back. HAHA.

Winnie!
where are you!! i hardly see you around now, and hmmm, yeah wanna talk to you and know more about you!

Nicholas!
yes, you're a mighty warrior! =) i am glad you're going through a rough patch, and no i'm not a sadist. and i'm glad this rough patch concerns God, and even more glad that you're really, really trying. remember to visit God's petrol station regularly, He gotta pump up your engine for the big race! i'm confident you'll run this race well, so long as your devotions with God are genuine and fruitful. gambate mighty warrior! i'm rooting for you!

CG! (both young and old ;p)
hey! keep going keep going! it's this part of the race that starts to get boring, because you're too far into race to turn and back out, yet not that near to the finishing line to dash it all out, but hey, i'm running along with you guys ok?! let my pretty face, and God's glorious presence boost all of us to keep going alright? go go go!

girls in monstrous North A!
throw out all your bimbo-ness (or smelly-ness if you are wanyi!) (or monkey-ness if you are yuqing!) and talk to me! guess i'm gonna organise a sister's event soon so i can get to know everyone. take initiative to update me about your life! i am interested in you! *winks*

now this is impnt!
AUGUST 3 IS COMINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!
it's an awesome day, because it's an awesome's girl birthday!
and that awesome girl is none other than yours truly, BRIDGET.
it's really coming okay, in a month + 2 days time.
so BE EGGCITED! HOHOHO. XD

2009-06-29T17:27:00.002+08:00

i just watched The Lion King 1 and 2!

yes i have deprived childhood, but i'm not missing anything watching them now!
it's really good! and ultra meaningful!
go catch it!

everyone is part of the family of God.
nobody should get left behind.
we are one.

2009-06-26T12:47:00.010+08:00

i believe many heard the news, King of Pop, Michael Jackson has left us.
well, i'm not a fan of his, but there are a few songs i really enjoy listening to.
and i really like his whole image before his bleaching and all.
anyhows, below are just some of his songs i have been listening to on Gold 90.5fm. (yess, call me old, but i LOVE oldies.)

here's the youtube video of the super well-known Thriller.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Xs9OQHpwDE
i can't embed the video cos it was disabled.
but i think it's quite funny. hehe.
and perhaps one of the longest mtv i ever watched.

i think this is quite cute, old humor. hehe.
try to spot michael jackson when he's young!
his voice is pretty easy to identify.
i like him when he's in his original color.
Jackson 5 - ABC

this one also by Jackson 5 - Never can say Goodbye.
yay i love oldies. =)

a bit old, sorry!

this one is with britney spears, i found it randomly.
he's bleached here, so to me a little scary looking.
but check out his trade mark moves. no moon walk though.
i think Justin you can learn from his popping! hehe.

and there is this full of popping and locking.
i guess it's poplock's pioneer!
Dangerous.

and here's one of my really really favourite song.
I can't find any actual mtv though.
Heal the world.

if you care enough for their living, make it a better palce for you and for me.

i wonder if any of you wld have the patience to watch.
there are more songs on youtube if you're interested. =)

2009-06-26T00:49:00.002+08:00

stir it up in our hearts Lord.

compassion is grinding in my heart, so much that it hurts literally.
and the sight of satan stabbing these ppl just makes me wanna scream and cry out.

Lord soften the hearts of these ppl.
please. do something.
give me courage to do something too Lord.

2009-06-24T12:33:00.003+08:00

was blog-hopping and chanced upon this!
it's my dream to see people of God praising God with this energy and enthusiasm!

i wanna get a crew to praise God tgt like this to inspire.
i'm aware of how people are moving to contempory christain music, but i think this is even cooler! hahaha!
it really shows forth the joy in serving and praising God, no?

higher higher~~ lift up Jesus higher~~!! *flings hands in the air!*

2009-06-22T11:55:00.002+08:00

i'm beginning to understand Daniel's post on questions!

i have recently been bombed questions by my girls in the group, and no don't get me wrong, i'm not saying that i'm sick of them, in fact, i'm really happy to receive them.
their questions really expanded my perspectives and increased me in knowledge.
and everytime i take time to think to answer their questions, i'm further rooted in my determination to walk with God wholeheartedly.

woohooo!!

2009-06-21T00:15:00.003+08:00

LIFE IS AWESOMEST WHEN YOU GO THROUGH IT WITH GOD!

i loved today, though last night was disastrous.

I LOVE ZHISHEN! HAHAHA.

okay dont 想歪歪！it's just that he's going through a hard time. NORTH A! PLEASE SMS HIM AND ENCOURAGE HIM TO GO THROUGH EVERYTHING WITH GOD!!!!

AND OF COURSE, I LOVE NORTH A!

NORTH A NORTH A NORTH A!

i should so totally create a cheer with this man!

i enjoy being genuine with you guys, and man, you guys now know how sinful i am la. but i pray that all of you will go through life with God and me. and we will see each other at the end of the race! keep encouraging and loving one another! WE CAN MOVE MOUNTAINS!

2009-06-19T18:34:00.003+08:00

LALALALA I'M SO HAPPYYYYYYY. HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY!

i miss my boyfriendzxzxzx. right xinru? hehe.
i don't even know if you will see this.

anyhowzxzz. i'm playing the songs from unstoppable and i feel joy overflowing from my heart even more!!!!!!!

AND TMR'S SERVICE!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
EGGCITINGGG!

btw, i took this from mr.hoehoehoe's blog!
'Don’t just encourage your sheep to grow, but go through it with them. Pray and Fast with them.'
nothing WOW. but it struck me.
cos i was just pondering upon the shepherding standard in the group.
WE ARE GOING TO GROW TOGETHER!, amen north A monsters?!

hoho, i doubt anyone even watch this space.
BUT NORTH A I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU.

2009-06-19T09:26:00.002+08:00

YAY!!! i love my new blogskin!!
andddddddd... YAY! i love my dear NORTH AAAA!!!
wooooooootsssss!!

i hate work though. T.T

i love Brandon, Yongqing and Yuwen MANY MANY!!!

woohoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!

2009-06-08T11:12:00.002+08:00

it's amazing how SO MANY THINGS can happened just over one weekend.
last week i received 2 guest complaints.
and over the weekend i received big fat news.

for a moment i feel so uselessly helpless.

it's like uhh, okayy..
you just listen to whatever the other party have to say.
on and on, on and on..
then you gotta fold up your feelings, shelf them in your little drawer, pick yourself up and brave them all.

it's that very feeling of being microwaved again.

it seems like there never was once God will let me go through a course to learn the steps.
He just throws me out and expects me to fly when i know nuts about flying!
it's like i'm a slab of clay that cannot ever turn into a fix shape, because i need to be moldable enough to contain anything God wants to fill me with.

and they all happen in a flash. POOF!

i'm fine with changes, really, but sometimes it happens waaaay too fast.
it's like the appetizer's here, but it's gone before i could even put my tongue unto it.
and before you know it, the main course's on your table.
it's like i just got to settle down and be comfortable, and the couch disappers.
it's... uncomfortable.
i know you get what i mean.

but there's something else i know too.
which is, your comfort zone, is the danger zone.
nothing progresses in the comfort zone.
nothing changes.
no life transformation.
no maturity.
no movement.
it's just you, and yourself, and your developing lump of fats and laziness.

laziness is not in the dictionary in kingdom advancement.
it brings you nowhere.
and if life is just about you and your comfort, then boy, don't live it anymore.
go and die now, and be comfortable in your little coffin.

on the other hand, it definitely isn't about achievement, but the contribution you make to pave your eternity.
it's not the worldly rewards, but the eternal value.
and whatever is of God, adds on to your eternal rewards.

and it doesn't mean that you need to be busy and keep running about to improve and rise up.
i can have peace too while running for God!
i can have all might and strength in trekking out of my comfort zone.
yes, i get all uncomfortable, yes it gets all tiring.
but at the end of the day when you overcome the mountain, you're right on top!
you live the fullest life you were meant to be living and you strike out sub-standard rubbish.
WHOOOO!! WHAT A LIFE WITH GOD! =D

i am really joyful!
because God chose to nurture me.
God chose to promote me.
God chose to mature me.
God chose me and allowed me to live life to the fullest.
God redeemed me and God loves me.

so yes yes and a shout out YES!
Here I am, do as you deem fit God!
camp's gonna be a BLAST!

2009-06-04T09:55:00.002+08:00

yay! i love weiting!

Anxiety

Anxiety is sin.
My anxiety infers that:
-God is incompetent.
If I’m anxious, it suggests that there’s an issue in my life that God is potentially incapable of resolving.
If His arm is not short and His ear is not deaf , why am I kicking and screaming trying to save myself?

-God is forgetful.
Do I suspect that my need has slipped God’s mind?
Does the Lord need me to send Him a reminder in the form of my panic and stress…just to make sure He doesn’t miss the appointment?

-God is indifferent.
1 Peter 5:7 teaches that I can cast all my anxiety on Him-because-and only because-He cares for me. By refusing to cast my cares on Him, I expose my deep down belief that He really doesn’t care-about me…about my particular burden.
Anxiety puts the pressure on me to perform as my own personal Savior, thereby undermining the intentions of God on my behalf.

Anybody other than me need to repent?

Be anxious for nothing.

Anxiety is unbiblical. It’s counterproductive. And it’s a direct insult to the proven character of a powerful, faithful, loving God.

-Steven Furtick

coool stuff! kick off the worried freak!

2009-06-03T10:00:00.004+08:00

as far as now is concerned, ALL IS GOOOOOD.
it does make a difference going through the week with God and trying your best to abide to the promises you made to Him!
i have thus far been growing minutely in self-control!

camp is coming in like oh my gosh 9 days!
and i'm not exactly prepared for a lot of stuff.
my soul's all ready and hungry for a great time with God!
but i guess it's not much prepped up to minister to the people yet! =/
nonetheless, fasting's been good, God's been sustaining me and well, i hope God drops a word sooooooooooooon!

anyhows~! THANK GOD FOR GOD, COS KIM JOINED THIS FAMILY OF GOD LAST SATURDAY!
WOOOOHOOOOOOO PRAISE GOD PRAISE GOD!
she's a really sweeeeeeeet girl whom i really am very thankful for, and i'm really on clouds nine knowing i'll see her in heaven!!! YAYYYYYYYY!!!

and now with 2 deadlines down (north anni and report submission), i finally got to get some gooooooooood sleep.
north anni was crazy!
the people when berserk when the Talents camp up to perform!
and i finally got to take some group pics. ANYBODY HAVE PICTURES? SEND ME PLEASE? or tag me on facebook!

joyce meyer is my ou xiang man!
i wanna preach God's word like her, practical and straight to the point!
God's been speaking to me through her and it's really time to get intentional!

sorry for the random order of things.
too much things have happened, i dunno really know how to piece them tgt.
shall end off with shout outs!

HELLO JIALI!
i know you are working like a cow, but hohoho, God is with you yo! nothing beats that! jiayou okay!

HELLO CG!
i can't stand our distance! hahahaha. let's magnetise soooooooon! i want to know all your deepest darkest secret yooo! jiayou for the week (though i know you probably won't read this.)!

HELLO WEITING!
please meeeeeeeeeet meeeeeeee before you disappear to find kangarooos!

HELLO FATTY!
you are facebook freak so i doubt i'll see you popping by. but anyhows, jiayou for FYP! i know it sucks like vacuum cleaner, but hey, you are made to be a victorious conquerer! mighty is our God who's doing fyp with you tooo! gambate!

HELLO SHARLINGLONG!
*winks* i know that you know that i know that you know what we are both thinking. HAHA i should electrocute your evil twin. mmm zzzz zzzz mmm zzzz~~~

HELLO SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!
hi my dear fluffy thingssss. please vomit out your heartcry when you see me! i heart youzxzxzx worzxzxz!

HELLO NORTH A!
who's the one who keep smacking my butt during photo taking arh!! fry you arhh! hahaha, anyhows, please come to talk to me okay! i'm a lonely old hag so need a lot of tender loving care. so please shower me with your pretty faces! make sure you're nice-smelling before you come. HAHA. love love!

2009-06-01T09:16:00.002+08:00

I HATEEEEE _________________________________.
pigs that are turning into roast pork in my head.
ughhhhhhhhh.

stupid ppl.

2009-05-23T11:33:00.001+08:00

saw a few baby videos!
cute and funny to the max!

2009-05-20T15:47:00.002+08:00

I've been indulging in the Word of God for the whole day now.
I started the day with the Word of God, and went through work, with the Word of God, and am now listening, to the Word of God.
IT FEEEEEEEEEEEEELS AWESOME!

thank God for Winnie yest, who was so lovely to come by my lunchtime and allowed me to vomit out my thousands of thoughts and concerns.
it was also through that short 1 hour that i was reminded to sit and listen to God instead of throwing Him my problems.
i then took the whole day today, being really sensitive to whatever God wants to tell me.
i didn't really care if i was heard.
i cared a lot though, on what God wants to speak to me.
and true enough, when i put away all my haste and impatience, He will be found in me.

God answered almost all of my prayers today as i seek not to solve my issues, but to listen him out instead.

i had an ongoing problem on fear of which God sent a timely podcast from Joyce Meyer to speak to me about it.
two really cool verses that i haven't really took note of through all these years.

'You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.' - 1 John 4:4

'for everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith' - 1 John 5:4

I, am the home of God. God dwells in me. God is with me.
and the God that is in me is GREATER than the one who is in the world.
who then should i be afraid of?
i hold the victory. =)

2009-05-20T12:21:00.002+08:00

i read this on Ps Jeff's Twitter.

'keeping my appointment to pray'

it's such a simple phrase, but it made me realise how much of a 'pang-seh kia' i am.
i realise i didn't really even make appointments to pray to God in the first place.
i just leave a message on the answering machine if need to.
i don't even demand to meet him or speak to him.

making an appointment means setting aside that time.
keeping the appointment means fulfilling the task you have set aside the time for.

it's time to make regular appointments to meet God.
a God moment a day, keeps satan away. =)

on a side note, i was at chialing's blog.
and one of her entries stirred up a lot of thoughts and emotions as it particularly struck a deep thorn in my heart that was evident for the longest time ever.
i guess the ESS on 30th May is a service specially crafted out for me.
no more pretense when God is the glory.
Masquerade, here i come! =D

2009-05-19T14:08:00.003+08:00

i can't believe it.
i've got so much time on hand (during work especially), yet i'm always late for deadlines.
i find it so hard to get started.
i'm living life like.... a zombie. yes. A ZOMBIE.
HI BRIDGET THE ZOMBIE.

it's always like that.
it's always when i'm cruising that God will stuff a twig in my rudder and break me all again.
when i'm flying high on my hot air balloon and God will poke it with a thin fine needle.
when i just want to laze around and need to put no effort in things that God reveals all my pouring fats and say i gotta start the engine going.

i have no plans.
no directions
and i have no intentions to find them.
i feel like living each day as it is, all the way till i die.

but all these thoughts are such a scam.
satan sure has his ways of duping me into his kingdom.
it feels as though i just met with an accident that resulted in a blocked vessel in my head.
there's that feeling that something is blocked off.
something is not filling in.
like i'm missing out on something.

i have lived 14 hours and 24 mins through the 19th of May, just floating around aimlessly, like a survivor from a shipwreck, who.. don't really wish to survive.

i guess satan finally found his way to me.
he's really sneaky.
but too bad satan, i saw you coming before you even came.
no way am i letting you come further.
in fact i'm gonna banish you way out of my zone, way out of my unit, way out of my world.
so scram! before i go full force to crush your sty.

and now, i know Lord, i can no longer look to myself.
i would say i have quite a heap of strength, but that can never be compared to your might.
i have my ways to put up a strong front, but my imperfect hands always leave holes and flaws behind.

i'm not relying on others anymore.
not relying on myself either.
i'm counting on you God.
when the cool dudes and babes in the bible cry out to you in distress, and turn from their evil ways, you heard them. and you responded.
you delivered and you saved.
and so with the loudest my heart can scream, i'm calling out to you!
to do something.
to take over.
to pick me up.
to lift me out.
my body and soul are so worn out from my stubbornness to use myself as a pillar.
i need you.
i really need you.

GOODBYE BRIDGET THE ZOMBIE.

HI BRIDGET.
BRIDGE TO THE CROSS.
BUILT WITH RESOLUTE STRENGTH.

GO BRIDGET! =D

When it is the end of man’s way, it is the beginning of GOD’s way.

2009-05-18T18:39:00.002+08:00

When it is the end of man’s way, it is the beginning of GOD’s way.

i need some restoration.
some re-align of priorities and perspectives.
some brand new Divine moments with God.
some permanent exchange for a new soul.
some dilligence to throw away what hinders.

2009-05-18T13:24:00.003+08:00

thank God for God, for blessing me with 2 days of much needed rest.
thank God for God, for his big fat heart that is so ever forgiving though i tend to break his heart over and over again, for the same old thing.

i'm done with some deadlines, but flooded with much more. i'm just praying for a fruitful week.
praying for discipline, for focus, for love, for patience, and for some willingness to exercise! HAHA

i need to hang out with some holy people.
and read some spiritual text. hehe.

hello world, i'm out to influence you. =D

2009-05-14T10:46:00.003+08:00

wah totally cannot make it.
so much for physical burn-out prevention.
i get to come for the later shift today, managed to sleep a bit more, but i'm aching ALL OVER and am having a really REALLY BAD HEADACHE now.
i didn't even sleep well to begin with. had a very sharp pain in my stomach the whole morning.

AND I HAD NIGHTMARE.

now i'm feeling really sick.
on the verge of knocking out already. T.T
and next week's gonna be worseeeeeeeeee.

2009-05-11T13:50:00.002+08:00

my brain is fried.

it's not focussing. AT ALL.
i took more than a week to settle on camp devotions.
and i've yet to finish even half!
mr. david hoe on the other hand, completed it in a whizz just yesterday.
UGHHHHHH. I CANNOT FOCUS!

and just before you start blaming it on my taiwan drama craze, it's not it's fault okay!
it's absolutely innocent (though he can get so ultra charming and attractive sometimes).
it relieves my brain okay.

i figured i need a break mans.
i'm running low of physical energy cos of a hectic week last week, and the coming week.
time's really packed, even worse then sardines.
i didn't even get to sleep in for the whole of last week!
i want my sleep in sundaysssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss.

work is so sickening.
it keeps screwing up my schedule!
i need sleeeeeeep.
but if i wanna sleep enough, i need to finish up my work on time.
but now that my brain is fried, i can't finish up my work!!
vicious cycle. so vicious. ughhhhhh.

can i watch taiwan drama now?
or God will you please give me wisdom to think think think and fast get the devotions doneeeeeeeeeeee?

and shout out to sheepssssssssss.
will you please sms me all your free time by every sunday 12pm so i don't need to chase after your free time?
a bit taxing for me to chase all 6 of you, i'll die by the end of this year.
so please be a very pretty and adorable and kind bunch of sheep and do me the favour ya?
thanks thanks.
(sheep who read this, please pass to those sheep who won't come to my blog. hahaha. thanks! *winks to liyan* HOHOHO.)

KILL SPIRITUAL/ENERGY BURN OUT.

2009-05-10T20:54:00.000+08:00

MY MOTHER RECEIVED JESUS!!
MY MOTHER RECEIVED JESUS!!
MY MOTHER RECEIVED JESUS!!
MY MOTHER RECEIVED JESUS!!
MY MOTHER RECEIVED JESUS!!

2009-05-07T14:35:00.002+08:00

陶瓷也不过就是一堆泥土，但是经过人的塑造，火的淬炼，不起眼的泥土，也可以变成璀璨的艺术.

winnie! i tot of you when i heard this!

and people out there! we might seem unnoticeable right now, feel small and wallow in our own inferiority, but God has an amazing pair of hands that can mold us and refine us. the ugly slab of mud/clay, will turn into a resplendent piece of artwork. just gotta trust, let go and let God! =)

2009-05-06T10:14:00.002+08:00

recently had been dumped with a lot of stuff to do!
BUT HOHO! breakthrough man! i'm not the least bit worried like how i used to be in the past.
i fully claim that God's in control man!

been praying for 3 whole days consecutively for the people's spiritual health!
i wanna keep praying and praying!!
praying that everyone will be strong and be kept safe.

people! do take note ya? read the book of Jeremiah!
don't end up like the people who do not heed the warning of the Lord!
when God says it's time for pruning, He's serious about it!
so be serious about your own spiritual health!
if it's true that your sins are hindering you, man! chop that evil branch off your tree that's rooted in the Lord!
revival requires repentance, and not escapism!
so don't give me a crap load of rubbish that the responsibilites are towering and you can't be refreshed.
don't tell me you need to step down from where you are and be a normal 'cute little harmless' member.
the truth is, you and your stubborn hands that refuse to let go of your sin are the biggest problem!
if you really have the heart to recover and come back to God, hey! hands off and let God take control!
REPENT FROM YOUR SINS PEOPLE!

2009-04-30T23:59:00.001+08:00

i hate to be 'against'.
i hate to question people.
i hate to be the 'bad person'.
i hate to be put in a bad position.

I HATE THE FACT THAT I'M A PEOPLE PLEASERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

2009-04-30T09:22:00.002+08:00

had our first Unit CG yest and it was funnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!
or maybe cos i haven't had proper CG in a veryyyyyyyy looooooooong time.
but anyhows, NORTH A, THANKS FOR THE FUNNN!!!

games was really funny, i think i shock them when i burst the balloon within a min after the game started.
aiya, you must understand, i'm burst balloon queeeen. hehehe.
and i think i laughed so much that my jaws were almost cramming already. XD

how sad we didn't take pictures. must take pictures next time k!

jiayou for all those having exams! gambate! =D

2009-04-27T11:07:00.002+08:00

the uni and high school peeps are drowning in their truck loads of books and notes these few weeks and just when i'm about to gloat over an exam-free semester, God enrolled me for the most crucial test i need for this phase of my life - the Maturity Test.

hmph. this is a grinding test man.
because i'm always too prideful.
i'm always thinking i'm old enough.
i'm sensible enough to handle situations.
don't lead me, don't guide me, i know how to do it, i know how to do it!

and i don't know why, but pride is made of some cheapo material.
i always end up tumbling down and down and down.
God is so good in making me 丢脸.
the more prideful i am, the more i 丢脸.
the more i cling on to myself, the more i fall down.
the more i look at myself, the uglier i am.

Mature people takes care of people's needs.
they don't think less of themselves, they don't even think of themselves in the first place!
their interest is not placed first in their lives.
it's others they are concerned about.
it's God they are serving and loving.
IT'S NOT ABOUT ME!

aiyo 老爸，求求你, always remind me to live for others.
to be motivated by you. to run for you!
it's all about you!
YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU!!!
help me to grow up, Lord.

2009-04-22T11:33:00.004+08:00

i've been eating A LOT lately and physically became meat-ier.
even my mum said i look 'rou rou'. T.T
i think my stomach has enlarged so much in size that the last thing i want to do now is fast from food!
every morning i come to work, i look forward to lunch, and after i take lunch i look forward to dinner. bahhhhhhhhh. i'm such a pig.
and it doesn't help that i bring my bento everyday, cos i yearn to devour it any second.
will someone buy me a hula-hoop please?

and and and, i'm gonna spend quite a heap on blogshop (yes i know i'm sinful. ugh.)
but it's dirt cheap!
it's like i'm gonna spend 73bucks on 2 tops and 3 bags!
tt's a good deal okay! tt's average 14 bucks per item! woots!
i'm even considering to buy another jumper dress thingy! =X

BUT! i'm obviously setting aside 200 for camp and tithe, 50 for my mum, and 100 for savings!
tt pretty much utilised my whole pay for the month.

okay enough of my sins, i'm like painting myself as a convict!
so let me share a bit about my trip at m'sia!

well, i've been having intentions to go church-planting in the future and initially thought that i am adaptable enough to changes to rise up to that challenge.
i mean, i've been through quite a bit of transitions through my life as a christian, out of which i thought i managed them pretty well.
even moving to a brand new district was easy for me. i had my difficulties, but they weren't enough to hold me down!
so yeah, i thought i was cut out for long term missions overseas!

not till i went over to M'sia. (oh please, talking about it makes me feel so embarassed)
can anybody tell me where Malaysia is? i believe it's unanimous knowledge that it's just across that bridge either at Tuas or Woodlands right.
well, that distance is enough to make me experience culture shock and homesickness. it was horrible!
and to think that it was only 9 silly days.

those 9 days were the longest 9 days in my life!
i couldn't wait to go home on the second day and i missed my family and friends so much i could almost cry!
it was that 'all is stripped away' kind of feeling.

firstly, NOBODY SPEAKS YOUR LANGUAGE.
and you get people vomit out a whole chunk of words that your brain cannot process.
at the end of the day, you find yourself saying either, 'huh?' or 'sorry, i don't speak Malay/Cantonese/Thai/Cambodian/what have you!'
sometimes you don't even know they're talking to/about you!
and because of that, you feel as though the whole world is talking ABOUT YOU in a language that you can never comprehend when they look at you as they whisper among themselves.
and it adds on to the sucky-ness when it involves an office of people who happens to not really like Chinese.

secondly, NOBODY LISTENS TO YOUR KIND OF MUSIC.
i listened to songs in malay, watched tv in malay, even hear announcements in malay.
you can't even sing along even if you want to.
can you imagine putting up with that for 9 days?
and can you imagine putting up with that for 2 whole years if it's a long term mission trip?!
i will faint and die and flush myself down the toilet bowl.

thirdly, YOU EAT A LOT OF SPICES INSPIRED FOOOOOOD AND A SPECKLE OF YOUR OWN ETHNIC DISHES.
imagine going for buffet and taking only 3 dishes because the rest are spicy and you can't take spice. how great right? imagine having to get that for every single one of your 9 days, and worse still, for your 2 years or more in missions?! i will literally fedex my family over i tell you. (oh but i'm not trying to say the food are bad and that i didn't get to eat chinese food ya? i'm just being exaggerated. hehe)

lastly, THERE ARE HARDLY ANY CHRISTIANS.
well, i might not be one who like to fellowship with a whole horde of christians (cos ppl always seem to get left out and i wouldn't ever be able to fellowship with every single one of them), but an environment with ABSOLUTELY NO CHRISTIAN is literally 'breath-taking'! you know why? cos you will choke in suffocation not being able to talk to a fellow brother or sister about your favourite Daddy! WAH, you know how difficult is that! especially when i always have so much to share!!!!!!!!! and as i thought about it, you will go church-planting because tt particular place doesn't have an established church, or have very little believers right? SO THAT MEANS THERE WON'T BE CHRISTIANS TOOO. oh mann, i will die.

and remedies for all these culture shock, is to bring your beautiful bible, a notebook and a pen WHEREVER you go and keeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep talking to God.
i blast christian songs on my phone or psp while i'm bathing too!
it was through this trip that i got a lot, a lot, A LOT closer to God because really, all is stripped away and you can ONLY DEPEND ON GOD.
and only God really cares and understands.

there was once i had to lunch on my own, i felt so small and so lonely that lunch really tasted so bad. not until i looked out of the window and LITERALLY SAW A CROSS out there facing me. (not i imagined out one! i really saw a cross! a big fat tall one!) i felt so comforted immediately because i knew that God was with me! i could feel His presence and He was lunching with me! =)

it was also through this trip, that all the more i want to go church-planting!
i strongly believe that God used this trip to prepare me for my future mission and i thank God that He opened my eyes so big, and for hugging me through the whole period! I fear the extent i need to go out of my comfort zone, but i am so blessed to know that God will thrive out of it together with me!

'Then i heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?" And I said, "Here am I. Send me!" '- Isaiah 6:8

2009-04-21T10:21:00.001+08:00

i have a difficulty in being macro!

2009-04-20T15:11:00.001+08:00

anybody have an ice cream maker at home?