last night, i took my sister's I-Phone and started playing.
and as i was getting too absorbed in the game till the world around starts to blur and my eyes got weary, i looked up and nearly whizzed out.
thank God for God for giving the warning, otherwise i'd be dead by now.

i then went to the room and started to have some time with God.
He made me reflect on my day yesterday, the day before, and the day before yesterday's yesterday.
He kinda made me ponder about the thoughts i've been entertaining in my head, and the attempts to escape from the actual important things i needed to think about.
(well, it's a whole load of them and the sight of it might make your stomach flip a thousand times. ughhhh, i know you get what i mean.)
maybe it's just like how Dennis puts it, 'maybe i am a chicken, and it's time to face it.'

i recalled on the sermon made some time ago, regarding planning and praying.
and evaluate on the progress i made since then till now. hmmm, minute?
gahhh, the effects of unfaithfulness is pricking me!
during ULM, Shirls taught about the qualities of being a disciple and a disciple maker, of which one of them is covered during church combined service.

'A true disciple, is disciplined.'
it's like one tight slap on my face. oh man.

and then another.
'You can teach what you learn, but you can only produce who you are.'
(something along that line.)
sheesh, another tight slap.

i was reminded too about the Intentionality needed in my intentions.
there was also the ringing thought about humility and teachability.

just within one night, God flooded me with all of these qualities i still rust at.
confidence level? pooped.
courage? pooped.

then again, i thought on further, that hey, i asked God to use me more, didn't I?
i was reminded of Shirls' and Dennis' teachability in opening their hearts for corrections, and winding down the screen of defence.
and so last night, i made a prayer to God to soften my hardening heart, to continue sowing on my soil, to be patient with me, to weed out the things that are hindering me.
i really pray that i won't dish out excuses and reasonings when God and people are patient enough with me to tell me my blindspots and where i've failed in.
i want to say, 'Yes, tell me more, help me grow.
and last night, i sat by the Lord to listen.

it was a timely reminder from God, because through that, God fed me a whole spoonful of awesome stuff called discipline and self-control.
got me down to face the things i need to face. and zoom off for more growth.

God help me to be very, very senstive to you.
and help me to be obedient to Your calling.
Give me courage enough that it drives out fear and timidity.
help me to do everything that is pleasing to your eyes.

i will live to carry Your compassion @12:10 PM